When someone says “No” to you, does it leave you feeling rejected? Does it make you feel as though you have failed? Many years ago, just after I completed my schooling, I got a job as a traveling salesman. My boss had a fancy imported sports car; she lived in what looked like a palace, and money was clearly not a great concern for her.
I completed my training and off I went into the field to make my millions. My first sales attempt was a total failure, and so were most of the attempts that followed. I returned home and immediately started looking for a different job, but then I got a phone call from my boss. Rather than comment on the fact that I had not made any sales, she actually complimented me.
I’m not quite sure how she did it, but she managed to convince me that I was destined to be successful. When I pointed out that I had not made a single sale, she brushed it aside, saying that rejection leads to success
. “Without rejection there can be no success” she said.
Why People Fear Rejection
From the time we are born to the time we die, we are conditioned to do everything we can in order to avoid failure, and of course the humiliation which usually accompanies it. In other words, we fear failure and we fear humiliation. Sadly, rejection causes most people to experience both.
How to Deal With Rejection
As I have already said, the overwhelming majority of people fear rejection, but the truth is, some people are better at coping with it than others. If you think you can be an entrepreneur without ever experiencing rejection, then think again. If it was that easy, everyone would be entrepreneurs.
This ability or inability to deal with rejection should essentially be seen as a sort of “natural selection” process, where only the fittest of the fittest survive. Some people are born with enough tenacity to handle rejection, while others need to develop this trait. Basically, you need to train yourself to never accept “No” as an answer.
Never see “no” as a “no” – see it as being one step closer to a YES!
Changing Personal Traits to Minimize Rejection
Make it Clear what your Needs Are – When you express your needs to people, do it in a way that shows you know exactly what you need or want. You need to appear confident if you want people to pay attention and take you seriously.
Watch your Body Language – When you are dealing with people you don’t want to appear nervous and/or vulnerable. You need to look them in their eyes when you are talking to them, but at the same time, you should never come across as being cold and emotionless.
Stop being Apologetic – If you haven’t done anything wrong, then there is absolutely no need to apologize. If you charge people a monthly or yearly membership fee in order to use your services and you find yourself needing to increase the price, do so without apologizing. You are putting the price up for a reason so there is no need for you to say sorry.
Demands are NOT questions – In sales, it can often pay off to end certain statements with a question if you have mastered the above three qualities. If you keep getting a potential client to agree with everything you are telling them, they can often feel compelled to buy when you deliver your call to action. However, when you are trying to establish a level of assertiveness, you don’t want all your demands to be ending in the form of a question.
Make yourself the Center of Attention – Make a point of saying “I” when you are addressing your audience. This sends a very clear message that it is you and only you who is asking for something and/or demanding something. It is a great way to create a direct relationship between “you” and your audience.
Sulk; Rejoice and Analyze
If you experience a particularly painful rejection, go ahead and sulk, but limit the amount of time you spend sulking. The same applies to the successful moments in your life. If you close a lucrative deal, go out and celebrate, but don’t celebrate for days on end.
If you encounter frequent rejections, don’t beat yourself up over it. Instead, sit down with a pen and paper and then try to figure out why you keep getting rejected, and then set about fixing it. Lastly, remind yourself that you are one of the strong ones who have made it through the “natural selection” process, and keep reminding yourself that rejection leads to success